Hold On
by CUtopia
Summary: Voldemort Wins!AU - Life is dark and full of despair for Katie and Marcus, but Katie still isn't tired of showing Marcus that there's still hope.


Entry for the _Quidditch Fanfiction League Competition, Season 6, Round 2_ – Wigtown Wanderers vs Chudley Cannons

 **Position:** Captain

 **Prompt:** Your story must only focus on characters who attended Hogwarts before Harry Potter. Write about a 'dark' character who needs comfort/ affection.

 **Word Count:** 2,680

 **Betas:** Aya Diefair, CP

 _Voldemort Wins!AU_

I love Abel Korzeniowski's compositions, and this time I let "Let Me Die" from the Penny Dreadful OST inspire me to the atmosphere :) Also the lyrics of Nano's Hold On fit my story idea a lot.

Thank you to Ally, who once again gave me an inspirational push into the right direction!

* * *

 **Hold On**

 _You gotta have the patience_

 _And believe you're gonna make it_

 _Gotta hold on_

 _I know you're tired of surviving_

 _But you gotta keep on trying_

 _Gotta hold on_

 _Hold on_

Nano - Hold On

* * *

A bitterly cold, harsh wind rushed through the gaps between the old, majestic trees of the forest, their thinner branches and leaves swaying and dancing back and forth in the faint, silver light of the moon that sometimes managed to peek out between the pitch black clouds chasing across the sky. The rustling of the leaves and the occasional groan of a branch being shaken with force mixed with the howl of the wind, drowning out all the usual sounds of the forest by nighttime. An earthy scent hung in the air, coming from the wet soil and mosses, a sign of the rain that the storm kept bringing.

A clap of thunder cracked right above a small clearing in the forest, and it masked the loud *plop* that echoed between the trees as a hooded figure appeared out of thin air, stumbling slightly on the muddy ground. If any other soul had been around, they probably would have wondered why someone would voluntarily be outside in this weather – little could they have known that this weather proved to be the perfect disguise for the mysterious stranger's purposes.

Nobody could see them in the darkness between the trees, nobody could hear their footsteps or their breaths as they quickly left the clearing and stopped in the shelter of a tree. The stranger's left hand dipped into the pocket of their cloak, the other remaining hidden in the pleats of the garment, and pulled out a small, round device made of silver, which turned out to be a compass when they opened the lid. The compass needle danced a little before steadily pointing north; now aware of the right direction, the hooded figure pocketed the compass again and started walking, searching for a way between the trees and over the uneven ground.

It was unclear for how long the silhouette hiked through the depths of the forest, checking their direction with the silver compass from time to time, but it was long enough for them to be soaked through completely when they reached a slope leading up to the northern edge of the forest. The icy cold rain, mixed with wet snow, had started falling some time after they had arrived, and the figure visibly shivered as they fought their way up the hill, slipping and sliding on the wet ground as it gave away under the stranger's leather boots. Hands, red and stiff from the wet cold, gripped for everything that could assist in regaining the figure's footing, tangling in bushes and scraping over thick roots.

Many pained noises and breathless curses were swallowed by rain, wind and thunder until the hooded figure finally reached the top of the hill and stared down at the old manor lying below, right by the cliffs of the loch. The majestic old building was dark, not a single window lit to indicate the presence of inhabitants, and the stranger released a breath of relief, pushing back the wet hood.

A messy braid of brown hair fell out of the hood, and Katie Bell lifted her head to hold her face into the rain, trying to ease the heat she was feeling after the physical exhaustion of the climb. She couldn't believe that she was doing this, and to be exact, that she was doing this _again_. There were so many dangers, even with using as little magic as possible, and she knew that it would cost her life if she was caught, while the emotional reward was fleetingly small and a false hope…

And yet, it only took one slip of parchment with a short message in a familiar, messy scrawl, to make her risk everything to come here.

While catching her breath, she let her gaze wander over the extensive grounds of the manor, ultimately spotting a light source she hadn't noticed earlier, hidden deep in the gardens, far away from the house. That was her destination for tonight.

Like always when she approached the magical wards, her heart started beating faster and adrenaline pumped through her veins – what if they wouldn't accept her this time? What if it was a trap? She was foolish for putting so much trust into someone who was on the enemy side, and she felt like a traitor to everyone she loved, to everyone who'd lost their life in the war, by associating with the enemy while acting like she was on the side of those fighting for freedom and diversity.

Sometimes, Katie could only find one word to describe herself: a farce.

But not even these heavy, negative feelings could stop her from approaching the wards with long, determined strides, only blinking nervously when she crossed the boundaries of the grounds. The wards accepted her without a flicker, and she released a breath she hadn't noticed she was holding. So no trap once again.

Yet, she stayed in the shadows of the neatly trimmed bushes and trees as she moved along the driveway leading up to the manor in an elegant curve. The rushing of the waves of the loch got louder with every step, and even more so when Katie ducked into the gardens situated to the west of the estate; the storm even made the usually calm waters rise and show how wild they could be.

Katie had to stem herself against the wind with all the strength that was left in her legs after the earlier climb to keep her speed up and her breathing went harsher. Her muscles were protesting, longing for rest, and her sides hurt, but she kept going, her eyes fixed on the only speck of light visible in the area.

Ultimately, she emerged from the expansive area full of patches with exotic flowers, bushes and trees, their petals and leaves ripped off and blowing around her ankles and the decorative sculptures and fountains, and she stopped for a short moment, taken aback by the foreign sight in front of her.

A cold shiver of dread rushed down her spine when she saw the tall, broad-shouldered man standing in front of a patch of freshly dug over soil about as big as a children's bed. The only light that fell on him was the of a torch of magical fire, the shine that had led her here.

What had he done? Had he killed someone again? Why did he ask her to come, then? To witness his horrible deed?

But as these thoughts flashed through her mind like lightning, she noticed his posture. It wasn't that of a smug, triumphant and overly-confident young man like she was used to seeing; no, it seemed like he'd aged at least a decade since she'd last seen him, and as if he'd lost his will to live. His shoulders were hanging, his head was held low as well, as if he didn't have the strength to hold it up anymore, and despite the cold he was only wearing a pair of black dress pants and a black shirt, his feet bare. He didn't seem to notice how the rain poured down on him, soaking his clothes, his hair, ran over his cheekbones, and dripped off the tip of his nose.

It was the picture of a broken man.

Taking a tentative step forwards, Katie tried to keep her own feelings under control – he needed her, that was obvious. "Marcus?"

His only reaction to her presence was the faintest raising of his head, and for a moment it was horribly quiet, causing Katie's worry to spike, but then he started speaking, his usually strong voice barely audible over the sounds of the storm. "They killed her, Katie. They just killed her in cold blood."

It was as if a cold, iron fist closed around Katie's insides and she stepped closer, wanting to say anything, ask what had happened, but the shock had rendered her speechless. She could already imagine whom he was talking about, but she didn't want it to be real.

This patch of earth to Marcus' feet just couldn't be _her_ grave.

"She was just an innocent girl," Marcus choked out, his big hands suddenly curling into fists so tight that he surely was digging his fingernails into his palms deep enough to leave marks. Katie could feel the wave of anger that rushed through him in that moment, and only now did she dare to step up to him, placing her hand on his forearm. Anger was familiar, anger was something she knew how to handle in him, in contrary to helplessness and grief. A part of him had always been angry, since his earliest childhood, but this wasn't the right time to think about all his issues with his parents again, even though Katie secretly was convinced that they were the reason why he'd joined the dark side when the war started. Because anger had a place there.

"It's…"

"No Katie," Marcus interrupted her, his voice pressed – he probably would have screamed at any other person. "Please don't say it's not my fault. I should have brought her somewhere safe, but I decided to stay. If I wasn't such a bad person, she… she would have been in a place where someone like her wouldn't be seen as… degenerated."

His guilt and the accusations against himself they brought were hanging in the air heavily, pressing down on them both, and Katie couldn't keep herself from shaking her head. A part of her still didn't want to believe that he was as evil as the other Death Eaters, that there was still good inside his heart, despite having seen him during the Battle of Hogwarts. How many he'd killed, she didn't know anymore.

But someone who loved like this just couldn't be of the kind of vicious and merciless nature that the other followers of the Dark Lord had, right?

"You're not… Marcus…"

She stopped herself from saying anything that would further deny the truth that she just wasn't ready to face, because it would mean admitting that there was a chasm between them, wide and deep, separating the sides they'd chosen.

For the first time, he lowered his head to truly look into her eyes; his green eyes were rimmed with red and swollen, and he looked so incredibly lost that she too felt pain rush through her. "You and I both know the truth, Katie."

Katie sniffled slightly, shaking her head, and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. She knew that he would ask her to stay away from him, but she knew that wouldn't be the solution to this mess.

For a short, dreadful moment, Marcus' whole body tensed up and Katie thought that he would push her away, but then he suddenly shuddered and a sob bubbled out of his throat. He slung his arms around her and curled into her, bending his neck at an unnatural angle to bury his face in her shoulder as he held on to her, all his feelings breaking out of him. The storm swallowed his messy sobs, his choked words when he asked again and again what he'd done, and the rain mingled with the tears that flowed down his cheeks in thick streams. It seemed as if the nature latched on to his grief and tried to pull him with her, but Katie clutched him so tightly, and he to her, that she became his anchor, the one thing holding him in life.

"You can't give up now, Marcus. Diana wouldn't have wanted that. If you do… if you f-follow her…," Katie whispered, her voice stopping to work for a moment from the weight of the words, and she needed to take a few deep breaths before she could continue. "You can't let her memory be forgotten. It lives in you."

 _And I don't want to lose you…_ went unsaid, for she saw no place for her selfishness in this conversation, and she forced him to lift his head to look at her. "Marcus, you didn't raise your wand against her or spoke the curse. You never treated her with anything but love, you were a good big brother. You _are_. Her death is on _them_."

Marcus looked as if he was more than ready to disagree, and Katie knew that he would need a lot of time to realise that she was right, at least about this. If only it was possible to take someone's pain away.

A sad smile appeared on her face as she gently ran her fingers over his cheek and tried to hold her on tears back. "Please give yourself time."

There was so much more she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the courage; also, it didn't seem like it was the right time. The Wizarding World was still at war, and certain promises just couldn't be made right now - she didn't know if she would always be able to be there for him, or that she would always love him. Loving someone who was fighting on the other side was hard, and she sometimes felt like she would break apart because of it. Any day either of them could die, after all.

The present was all they had.

"I love you, Marcus," Katie said quietly after what seemed like an eternity of silence. She probably had to go again soon, and she wanted him to know that in the present, she still felt the same for him.

Either it was the rain, or fresh tears ran down his cheeks.

"You're the only good I have left in my life, Katie. I can't… I can't tell you how much that means to me. How much you mean to me," he whispered back, his voice close to breaking, though he didn't seem that lost anymore. "I love you. And… and I'll try to be the man you think I am."

"You _are_ that man. You have it in you," Katie replied in a determined tone and kissed him before he could protest again, trying to put everything that she felt into that one gesture.

She didn't want to regret anything in case this would be the last time they saw each other, even if her behaviour always seemed dramatic when it turned out that there would be a next meeting. But the way Marcus returned the kiss assured her that these feelings were mutual, and she allowed herself to hold on to him tightly for a small eternity, not wanting to let go yet.

"You always put way too much trust in me," Marcus mumbled against her lips, his warm breath hitting her damp, cool skin, and she closed her eyes when he leaned his forehead against hers. How she wished they could do this more often, or at least whenever they wanted.

"It's all justified, y'know. And I hope one day you'll finally believe me."

They stood like that for a long time, unaware of the rain still falling down on them and the storm raging all around them, pulling on everything in its wake.

It was as if a small bubble had formed around them, one that couldn't be disturbed by anyone or anything as they savoured this moment. The world all around them was in chaos and on the verge of being dragged into a dreadful darkness, and their lives felt like they were about to fall apart as well, but it only made them hold on to each other tighter.

The good things would always come to those who knew how to wait, and Katie hoped that Marcus would have the endurance to experience this saying becoming reality for them. She wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how many more stones and burdens fate would throw in their way.

And maybe they would see the end of the storm together.


End file.
